


Miracle In December

by privri_exo



Series: 🎄🎁MERRY CHRISTMAS EXO🎁🎄 [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst and Fluff, Basically Jongdae brings ChanBaek back together, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Breaking Up & Making Up, Christmas, Christmas Decorations, Christmas Dinner, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Miracles, Christmas Presents, Christmas Shopping, Christmas Special, Christmas Tree, Declarations Of Love, Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai - Freeform, Domestic Fluff, EXO - Miracles In December, EXO Ensemble - Freeform, Ex-Lovers ChanBaek, Exes, Exes to Lovers, Fluff, Forgive Me, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, I'm so sorry, Idiots afraid of being in Love, Idiots afraid of failing a potential second try, Idiots in Love, Kim Jongdae | Chen/Kim Minseok | Xiumin - Freeform, Light Angst, Love Confessions, Lu Han/Zhang Yi Xing | Lay - Freeform, M/M, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE, MERRY CHRISTMAS EXO 2020, Merry Christmas ChanBaek, Miracles, Not Canon Compliant, On ChanBaek Library my dumbass said there's smut in this when the smut comes in the sequel, Post-Break Up, Song fic, They get together though, True Love, We Die Like Men, We love Jongdae, Whipped Byun Baekhyun, Whipped Park Chanyeol, Wow this is a lot of tags but I've seen more, disgusting fluff, exes chanbaek, i don't know how to make it awkward so it's awkward because i say it is whoops, plz, slight awkward tension, unbetaed, will eventually be revised to add more scenes, x-mas fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:59:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28310109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/privri_exo/pseuds/privri_exo
Summary: What happens when it’s Christmas time and you bump into the best lover you ever had, broken apart because of stubborn denial from both sides?It’s almost Christmas in Seoul and Baekhyun is wandering around town, Christmas shopping and just indulging in the joyful atmosphere but the more interactions he sees between happy couples, families, and friends, the more he begins to regret what had happened a about three years back when he and his boyfriend Chanyeol had broken up right about Christmas time. Maybe it was a Christmas miracle as they somehow happen to bump into each other one cold afternoon on Christmas Eve and spend the day together. When it’s time again for them to separate, is the miracle over, or has it just begun?
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Series: 🎄🎁MERRY CHRISTMAS EXO🎁🎄 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2073414
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Miracle In December

**Author's Note:**

> I'm wishing you all an EXTREMELY late Merry Christmas with this fic! It’s my favorite time of year but I wasn't able to post it by the time I wished to but I hope you still enjoy my gift to you all.I hope you enjoy this fic! Happy New Year and hopefully 2021 will be better than the year before✊!
> 
> A note about the fic, this is a song fic mainly inspired by Miracles In December and For Life. If you listen to those song lyrics or know them well, as well as watching the video for Miracles In December you’ll be able to pinpoint where I got my inspo most likely🤭.
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This is not meant in any way to offend or represent the people mentioned in this work. I do not own them, am not affiliated with them, nor am I trying to make money off of this work.
> 
> Fic Playlist: These are the songs that inspired me when writing the fic and if you know the lyrics and read the story, you can see the order and plot in which the story goes.
> 
> • Paper Cuts, EXO-CBX  
> • For You, EXO-CBX  
> • Stay With Me, EXO-Chanyeol & PUNCH  
> • Heaven, EXO  
> • Lady Luck, EXO  
> • The Star, EXO  
> • Daydreamin’, EXO-SC  
> • Beautiful, EXO-Baekhyun  
> • Walk On Memories, EXO  
> • Stay, EXO  
> • Sing For You, EXO  
> • Cry, EXO-CBX  
> • Miracles In December, EXO  
> • Someone Like You, EXO-CBX  
> • For Life, EXO (Sequel)
> 
> AFF Link: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1467933/miracle-in-december

The neighborhood of Apgujeong was bustling as it was Christmas Eve, stores and streets were packed full of people, tourists and natives alike, all happy to enjoy the holiday. It was a cold afternoon, clouds hovering high up in the sky, the weather forecast predicted it’d snow today, a White Christmas happening again after five years. People were also psyched about that, waiting to see the snow fall especially during the night when the city lit up, enchanting Seoul.

In the Apgujeong Galleria Mall, massive groups of people were packing stores to find last minute gifts. In some areas you could see people arguing or getting ready to physically fight over a gift. Baekhyun was walking through the mall, one of the many people looking for last minute gifts. He needed to find a gift for his friend, Jongdae, who was the most difficult to buy for. He searched low and high for any gift that might suit Jongdae, but there was none.

Baekhyun groaned and sighed before stopping in an empty space in the mall, looking around at the many stores around him. As he looked around, he saw people rushing and people casually walking. Sole men and women were running to stores to get that last minute, perfect present, and couples were heading to different stores and restaurants that were packed full.

Seeing men and women rushing around reminded him of five years ago, that first Christmas where he had been like the happy and shy couples who passed him by, sharing sweet kisses, holding hands, laughing together, some in a comfortable silence, enjoying the scenery. Baekhyun remembered going to their favorite place in the mall, the food court. They never bought things at the time as they didn’t have the money for it, not that Baekhyun did now, but back then they went to window-shop and play in stores without getting kicked out.

Baekhyun snapped out of his reminiscing and remembered his intention for coming to the mall. He needed to find a gift for Jongdae. Strengthening his resolve once more, Baekhyun set off once again, to find the perfect gift for Jongdae, cursing Jongdae under his breath for being so hard to shop for and how Minseok had it the easiest as Jongdae would take even just sex with him as Christmas gift even if they do it twenty four/seven.

Thinking about how happy Minseok and Jongdae were reminded Baekhyun of his happiest years with the man he loved most. He felt tears well up in his eyes that he had to blink away. Baekhyun was a strong man but no one is strong enough when their heart is broken and they lose a part of themselves in the process. Holding back a sob, Baekhyun sluggishly treks on, berating himself the whole way for putting himself in this situation, full of regret and loneliness.

𝄖 ❅ 𝄖

After walking around in search of the perfect gift, Baekhyun was stumped because he still had no idea what to get Jongdae and it was already one o’clock and he’d been at the mall since it opened at ten-thirty. Baekhyun decided he’d had enough of looking all over the mall when he knew he wouldn’t find anything and he needed fresh air. So he left.

Baekhyun left the mall and walked to the usual train station at exit three to reminisce the usual amount of times he’d left that station whether it was their usual group of nine or just them two. In recent years, he’d always exit this station alone. As the cold, winter air slapped him in the face, he pulled his coat in closer to him. It was cloudy but everyone buzzed with excitement as it was said to snow that day and the next day, on Christmas in which South Korea would have another White Christmas after five years.

Baekhyun simply felt more pain as he remembered the last White Christmas he’d spent with his lover and the two made love, watched TV, cuddled, ate pizza, and drank hot cocoa. Arguably, Baekhyun sometimes felt like that was their best Christmas together. Looking around at the people now, Baekhyun felt jealous and hurt as he wanted to be happy too but he couldn’t feel as happy even when surrounded by loved ones as he always felt that one, missing presence. He hated it. He hated being jealous, especially of Jongdae who was always kind and loving.

But he too wanted to be happy with the man he loved! It was unfair! Why did Baekhyun have to suffer?! They were in love! What did he do wrong? Where did they go wrong? Why did they need to separate? The years felt emptier and more meaningless without him! Life was so unfair. That was the one thing he always wanted more than anything. Yeah, he was the more level-headed out of the two, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t want to make potentially life ruining choices if it meant he could keep him by his side and they could be together forever.

This time, Baekhyun couldn’t hold it in anymore. He was embarrassed as some people stared at him as he sobbed and ran, tears streaming down his face, his nose turning red not only from the cold. His bright red hair flew around his face as the wind blew stronger from him running. He didn’t know where he was going. All he knew was that he needed to go somewhere, anywhere.

Just as he slowed down, out of breath, gasping for air and choking at times due to his sobbing, he rested his hands on his knees although they were weak and shaky. He finally gave in, softly crying and whimpering mutely, “ _Chanyeol_ . _Chanyeol_ . _Chanyeol_!”.

He missed the man’s tall frame that stood just a few inches taller than his yet felt so much bigger.

He missed the man’s curly hair that would make him look goofy and soft when left natural and messy, but made him look older and more professional when slicked back or styled in a seven to three ratio that gave him that nice comma hair.

He missed the pointy elf-like ears that stuck out from his hair and hats.

He missed the big, almond shaped eyes that could go ridiculously wide when scared, shocked, surprised, or eating something delicious (for some reason).

He missed the nice, straight, pointed nose, with that one stray mole in the middle, that Chanyeol would bump softly onto his whenever they kissed.

He missed the plump lips that would part into a bright, contagious grin that resulted in Chanyeol being dubbed the nickname Happy Virus, or when they’d mold with his own, or press kisses all over his body, warming him up with love, or the deep baritone voice that escaped the plush flesh, or the different laughs the man would belt out.

He missed the built chest and arms Chanyeol would encase him with and hold him tight, saying he’d never let go, promising a forever.

He missed the large, veiny hands that held his smaller, dainty ones, or clapped and slapped anything in their vicinity when he laughed, or when he’d feel him up when they had sex, holding him steady when riding, or even that ‘LOEY’ tattoo he had on his finger, and the fingers that entered him or laced with his own.

He missed those bowed legs that managed to hold up that giant oaf, that would fold when he died of laughter, that would run to him whenever that overgrown puppy would see him, only to hug his legs or engulf him in a hug.

He missed his kind heart that was so sensitive that he was afraid people would take advantage of him, or that would cause him to cry easily.

He missed his enthusiasm, his intellect, his creativity, his handiness, his presence, his love.

He missed _him_.

So he broke once more. Because he’d never get him back. He lost him. Although a part of him whispered that he’d take him back in a heartbeat if he came back, another part reminded him that if they broke up once, they could always break up again. They just weren’t meant to be. And it was right.

Resigned, Baekhyun continued to cry, however his tears now slowed as he had none left to cry. His breathing calmed and returned to normal. He felt drained. He forgot why he’d gone out in the first place.

Baekhyun gathered enough strength to stand back up straight and return back the way he ran. He returned to the train station, entering and paying his fare, getting on the next train. His body felt like it was moving based on memory as he was lost in the nothingness of his thoughts. He didn’t even get Jongdae a present but he just decided to wing it and do something homemade, maybe a meal, or dessert, or something, he’d figure it out later.

As he traveled back to Myeongdong, he watched people get in and out of the train and stops pass by in a blur. He reached his stop after some ample time and exited the station. It was now three in the afternoon. He’d spent the day walking around in a mall for three hours and crying for half an hour. What a waste of a Christmas Eve.

Baekhyun slowly left the station, reaching the streets again. He began to walk to his apartment complex, passing retail stores, cafes and restaurants. All of a sudden, Baekhyun bumped forward into someone as he was distracted.

“I’m sorry,” he jittered. He asked, “Are you okay-,” until he looked up and felt his eye widen just a bit and his mind blank as he gasped for air from the beat his heart skipped.

Standing in front of him, in the flesh, was the man he’d broken down for today. The man he missed. The man he couldn’t live without. The man who brightened up his world. The man who made him shine. The man he loved. The man he loves. It was-

“Chan-yeol,” his voice broke a bit when voicing it out as much as he had said it today and the days he thought of him and could only slightly heal his heart by saying his name.

Chanyeol seemed just as shocked, hand holding his shoulders to help stabilize him while pulling him away from his chest.

𝄖 ❅ 𝄖

The morning sunlight filtered into the room, waking Chanyeol up. Although he cracked his eyes open and saw the light, he didn’t feel the normal energy he would’ve had seeing it years ago. Three to be exact.

Three years ago he would’ve been on his side, cuddling the warm body that slept on the right side of the bed that would be bundled up in a blanket while he would’ve been in boxers only since the room was always hot thanks to the small puppy faced mochi sleeping in a bundle next to him. They never agreed on a room temperature but Chanyeol would gladly sacrifice a cool room for his lover to be happy because one, he’d give anything to keep that boxy smile on his beautiful face and two, his lover always got needy seeing him all sweaty, body glistening with water or whatever liquid he was doused in /they’ve done body shots in their college days/.

Stuck in his memories, Chanyeol reached out to the right side of the bed, but his eyes snapped open when he saw the empty, made up side of the bed, and felt cold air from the room enter the blanket he’d snuggled under. It was then that he remembered the empty pit in his chest from which the pain feels deeper every day. He’s lost count since he lost him.

Chanyeol quickly rolled onto his back and threw an arm over his eyes as he tried to hold the tears back. How many mornings has he done this since the day they parted? Everyday feels the same. Colorless. Dark. Grim. Hopeless.

It’s not fair. Where did they go wrong? Was it his fault? They were going so well? Why did they fall apart? One day they were fine and the next they were separating. All he could remember is Jongdae coming over to take some of Baekhyun’s things and that was it. Yeah he still has things of Baekhyun’s but it means nothing if just having him relive their moments and shove in his face that Baekhyun… he can’t even say it / ~~is no longer his~~ /.

Chanyeol looks next to him where he had his phone charging and it was vibrating, from a reminder or text he was guessing. He checked and quickly jumped out of bed. It was two in the afternoon, soon to be three and he had to buy the last Christmas present for Jongdae! Chanyeol jumped out of bed and began running around, collecting a long sleeve shirt, some jeans, and underwear before running to the bathroom to take a brisk shower.

After showering, he called up Yixing who knew Jongdae third best after Minseok and Baekhyun. Jongdae was so hard to buy for because he took practically everything. Yixing, however, didn't pick up so Chanyeol called him a few more times before giving up, he was probably with his new deer-faced boyfriend, and deciding to just wing it and head out. At least shopping could be his distraction from his lost love.

It was just as Chanyeol was speed walking down the block that he bumped into someone and held their shoulders in a manner that was respectful of their space and ensuring they didn’t fall or get hurt. What he didn’t expect was to see the person he’d yearned for for years. The person who revived his heart in that moment. He swore that was the moment where he felt the most alive in his life.

𝄖 ❅ 𝄖

Chanyeol stayed quiet and let his eyes roam Baekhyun’s face. He knew it’s been three years since they separated. He refuses to say ~~broke up~~ because he still loves that man. He was heartbroken of the loss of this sweet being. He lost his star. His world was thrown off its orbit. He lost his sense of self without him. _Without him_ . Without _Baekhyun_.

All he wanted to do was hold Baekhyun tight and never let him go but he saw the pain in Baekhyun’s eyes, heard the pain in his voice, felt the tension in his shoulders. He internally cursed himself for stepping back from Baekhyun; But he didn’t want to make Baekhyun uncomfortable, even though he felt like he was already making him uncomfortable.

He couldn’t help but continue staring, looking at the bright red hair Baekhyun donned. It matched him so well. It represented exactly what Baekhyun was to him. He was the ever burning flame. Chanyeol’s world would lose its warmth and light without him.

As Chanyeol continued to stare he recaptured the sight of Baekhyun’s droopy eyes, the dark chocolate colored irises, the distinct mole cluster and outliers his face, the apple like cheekbones that made way to the soft, thick mochi-like cheeks. He smiled lightly when he saw Baekhyun's big Dumbo ears with the small edges to them, not forgetting the mole on his left ear that he used to kiss which would always fluster Baekhyun. Looking down further but not too low he saw Baekhyun's neck although it was covered by a scarf, he could imagine exactly what laid under, the slim milky neck that he used to mark to which Baekhyun would mark him back by biting his lip until he left a cut; they were animalistic with their love whether it was sweet puppy love or wolfish lust.

Chanyeol was mesmerized when Baekhyun grabbed his wrists and pulled them from his shoulders, placing them back by his sides, because he noticed Baekhyun’s slim, soft hands, nails perfectly trimmed as usual, and right on his left thumb was that one adorable mole that Chanyeol used to kiss affectionately.

Caught in a daze, Chanyeol grabbed Baekhyun’s wrists lightly, but enough to stop him from taking them back. He could feel how soft those hands were. How much he missed those hands, yearned to hold and feel them in his own, caressing his face, chest, neck, his entire body, bringing him to a high no one else ever had.

Chanyeol hadn’t realized as he was caught up in his thoughts that he was caressing the skin of Baekhyun’s wrists, tracing soft circles on them with his thumbs.

Baekhyun on the other hand was confused and panicking internally. He did miss Chanyeol and the things he did but they weren’t together anymore and what if Chanyeol was with someone? What if Chanyeol didn’t love him anymore? Why was he touching him the way he used to? Why was he allowing it?

Baekhyun snatched his hands away quickly but noticed the shock on Chanyeol’s face.

“Um… sorry…”

Chanyeol just continued to stare, hands falling to his sides and clenching into fists.

Why did he do that? Now they’re not talking. They’re standing in the middle of a sidewalk. They’re not talking. Baekhyun wanted to shove his head in a hole and never come out.

“Uh. Oh. No. It’s not you. It’s me. Sorry,” Chanyeol broke the silence, but they didn’t say anything after and they avoided eye contact, Baekhyun looking down at the concrete and Chanyeol looking at Baekhyun’s face but not his eyes.

“So..”

Why was he talking to him?! Baekhyun wanted to wither away! Why couldn’t they talk like normal people?!

Oh yeah. Because they were exes.

“Baekhyun.”

“Oh- Yes?”. Baekhyun stopped and blinked before trying to process what was going on in real life. Wait did Chanyeol just say his name? Out loud?

Baekhyun was about to have a mental breakdown again but before he could, Chanyeol spoke again.

“So, how are you?”. Baekhyun managed to continue his blank thoughts as he physically shook but he was able to respond in a wavering voice,

“Good.. How are you?”. Baekhyun wanted to mentally cry. He hated this conversation. They used to be able to speak for so long. It was never ending. So why are they acting like those times never existed?

Chanyeol on the other hand was panicking too. What do you say to an ex you’re still in love with? If you love them still do you win them over? Do you have a chance? But what if they don’t want you? Chanyeol normally had loads of confidence and never hesitated but this was Baekhyun, the love of his life, of course he’d panic and be cautious although it might not have been worth the awkward conversation that could cost him a second chance.

"I'm fine- I guess, I've had better days," Chanyeol ended it with a chuckle but it sounded so forced and now Baekhyun was concerned. Was it his fault? Is Chanyeol suffering? Baekhyun saw the pain and uncertainty in Chanyeol's stance and the way he lightly flinched and ruffled his hair. Why was it so hard for them to be happy? They just wanted to be able to love each other, not this wall between them.

“Oh. Um. It’s almost Christmas.” Chanyeol wanted to laugh and cry because Baekhyun was so awkward saying that and he could tell that Baekhyun wanted to slap himself for saying something so obvious and stupid.

“Yeah, I’m actually going Christmas shopping right now. It seems like everyone else is too.” Chanyeol smoothed over the conversation. He’d always been better at socializing as he was more outgoing and confident while Baekhyun was quieter and more reserved. That was how they’d gotten to know each other in the first place as Chanyeol had been the one to approach him first. It was the year 2011.

_𝄖 𝄖_

Baekhyun was a first year at Seoul National University. He was just an average student, he didn’t stand out, nothing exceptional, he got good grades, attended school regularly and struggled just as much as his peers. He had a small friend group that consisted of three other guys who he’d befriended during tours the year before and the beginning of the year. They all shared a passion for music which was what they bonded over, eventually becoming the best of friends even in the present.

It was one seemingly normal day in the fall when he’d been heading to meet up with his friends at the library when he’d walked by a rowdy group of giants and one midget. As he passed them by, he’d made eye contact with the tallest one who looked the goofiest actually, with his pointy elf-like ears, huge bug eyes, and quirky grin that seemed contagious as the people around him seemed to be dying laughing at something he did or said. He was actually pretty cute.

Baekhyun’s checking him out didn’t go unnoticed however as within a split second in which Baekhyun didn’t even notice he’d stopped walking, the ‘Pretty Cute Man’ had turned to look at him too. For some reason Baekhyun felt hot as they held eye contact, the man had stopped walking like he did and they just stood and stared.

The glance that had seemingly froze time and lasted forever really only lasted ten seconds before the guy was called away by his friends, a voice shouting, “Com’on Yeol!”.

The man’s voice was so deep when he looked away to say, “Yeah, I’m going,” before taking one more quick last glance at Baekhyun before jogging to catch up to his friends. Baekhyun had watched the man, ‘Yeol,’ go before walking faster to get to the library before Kyungsoo murdered him for taking so long. As he walked he couldn’t help but flush slightly and have a shy grin on his face as he whispered, “Yeol,” under his breath with a light giggle.

Baekhyun jumped out of shock however when he heard loud thumps on the floor as if someone was running down the hall in his direction, only to turn around and be shocked as ‘Yeol’ had been panting a little, but right in front of him, holding his shoulders in a firm grip before saying,

“I know this is weird and I could either sound like a creep or make sense, but I’m pretty sure you felt the connection between us in those ten seconds which felt like forever, unless I’m a creep in which you are free to hit me, but you’re really cute. I know we don’t know each other but can I get your number so we can hang out sometime as friends and, I don’t know, maybe get together in the future?”. Baekhyun was confused as hell but this man was even cuter now with his quirky confession and Baekhyun felt like this man was something special and there was something about him that made Baekhyun feel like he couldn’t say no.

Baekhyun burst out laughing which flustered Chanyeol who wanted to shrivel up in a hole for a day until he could bounce back. This was rejection for sure. But to his surprise, Baekhyun held out his hand and said, “You don’t even know my name, Silly.” Chanyeol grabbed his hand and shook it while introducing himself,

“I’m Park Chanyeol, first year, majoring in astronomy.” Baekhyun laughed again which left Chanyeol in more confusion since he didn’t understand if he’d said something weird or funny or strange or if Baekhyun just laughed a lot or was a crazy person, but hey they could still try it out if Baekhyun was willing. It all dawned on him however, when Baekhyun said sweetly,

“I was asking for your phone, Park Chanyeol, first year, majoring in astronomy. But, I’m Byun Baekhyun, first year, majoring in computer science.” Chanyeol loved this man, yet continued to embarrass himself as he whispered,

“Are you an angel,” as Baekhyun was now speechless and shy from the compliment and Chanyeol gawking at him like he was a god or something. He held the strap of his backpack tighter and whispered a flustered whine as he looked down, away from Chanyeol’s smitten stare,

“Do you want the number or no?”. Chanyeol flailed for his phone and gave it to Baekhyun who took it carefully and typed in his number while calling his own phone. He gave Chanyeol the phone back, seeing him type something before Chanyeol bent down and kissed his cheek. He then turned away and ran back the way he’d came with a shout of,

“See ya, Baekhyunnie!”. Baekhyun felt a buzzing in his phone and he saw a message from and unknown number saying,

[You have the most dazzling smile, Baekhyunnie <3]

Baekhyun grinned brightly, comparable to stars in Chanyeol’s eyes, and saved Chanyeol’s number under the name, ‘My Sun,’ Chanyeol having changed Baekhyun’s name to ‘My Star’. Baekhyun began to run this time, seeing a message from Kyungsoo who showed that he was not happy with Baekhyun’s tardiness. Baekhyun knew they would love to hear what just happened, especially Jongdae who would probably bother him nonstop until they got together, but Baekhyun knew it wouldn’t take that long until they did.

𝄖 ❅ 𝄖

As Baekhyun came down from reminiscing their first meeting, he smiled slightly as his eyes were attracted to Chanyeol’s ears that he would still describe as elf-like, just like he had the day they met. Baekhyun wanted to reach out and touch them but he had to hold it in. He was snapped out of his trance however as Chanyeol called his name again as if he’d been calling him a few times.

“Baekhyun!”

“Oh! Yes?”

He was then caught off guard as Chanyeol then asked him,

“I was wondering… If you would like to go Christmas shopping? With me? Maybe?”.

Baekhyun froze and slightly trembled as chills attacked him, not only from the winter wind. Should he say yes or should he say no? Why did Chanyeol invite him? Didn’t he already feel their awkward tension? Did he want to deal with that for longer? But what if he said no? That would be the end of them wouldn’t it? For real this time? This was probably the last time he’d be able to get Chanyeol alone again with the intent to hang out with him.

With that thought in mind, Baekhyun took the first confident step he’d taken in a long time. “Sure!-I mean-if it doesn’t bother you that is.” Baekhyun died just as he said that, Chanyeol brightened up so much, trying so hard to fight a grin, eyes shining with pain and joy. Baekhyun was love-struck and whispered breathlessly, lips trembling, heart overwhelmed with overflowing love that unknowingly, Chanyeol had noticed, “You’re still my sun.”

Given the okay from Baekhyun, Chanyeol grasped Baekhyun’s wrist and pulled him back in the direction he came from. Baekhyun was dragged behind the excited giant who as they walked, slowly and softly moved his hand down to clasp their hands together, the big, warm hand enveloping his own smaller one, enhancing their size difference.

Baekhyun looked down at the hand that held his own, warming it even through the gloves and said lowly, voice full of pain, “I don’t get you, Chanyeol.” Even still, they walked beside one another, breaths and footsteps in sync.

Walking along the streets, they’d gotten some stares at times that they were aware of, whether it was Baekhyun noticing groups of girls ogling Chanyeol’s frame and appearance, in retaliation tightening his grip on his hand and lightly wrapping his arm around Chanyeol’s, pulling it close to his chest as a claim to show that Chanyeol was his /something they used to do when they were together/.

On the other hand, Chanyeol caught some guys staring at Baekhyun which he did not like at all so he would intertwine their fingers, squeeze Baekhyun’s hand lightly, ever so softly pulling Baekhyun closer to his side, peering over Baekhyun’s head to glare at onlookers looking his lover up and down as if he were a piece of meat.

The silence the two walked in was, although awkward, also soft and loving, and the protective holds they held each other with were comforting. Baekhyun kept on swaying his head ever so slightly as he felt a strong desire to lean his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder. He would constantly peek at the shoulder and think about how easy it would be to rest his head there. He slowly leaned his head closer to rest on the shoulder.

Just before he could lean his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder, Chanyeol looked at him, concern painting his expressive eyes. “Baekhyun, are you tired? Do you wanna stop, we can stop by a restaurant? Or you can go home-”.

“NO,” Baekhyun cut Chanyeol off, tearing himself away from the man. “I mean-I don’t mind going to a restaurant… I don’t need to go home,” he ended softly. Baekhyun felt slightly proud for saying what he felt and what he wanted. He had always struggled with doing that and felt that his fear of communication was a big reason as to why Chanyeol and his relationship fell through.

Unknown to him, Chanyeol was shocked. Did Baekhyun agree to eating out with him? Would this technically count as a date, even if they were exes? Would Baekhyun count it as a date? Would he want to date him? Again? But what if-

“Chanyeol…” Baekhyun lightly tugged Chanyeol’s shirt, slightly pouting his carat shaped lips. He swore Baekhyun was doing this on purpose because how could a person seduce their ex in all ways emotionally, physically, and mentally, yet look as innocent as an angel. Curse Baekhyun’s perfection. But he’s so beautiful and adorable and just, Chanyeol wants to take him and put him in his pocket forever- “HEY!”

Chanyeol jumped before crumbling down to the floor from the loud noise. “What is it,” he rushedly asked, staring up at Baekhyun. Baekhyun on the other hand tried to hold back his laughter and coos from Chanyeol’s adorable and hilarious antics.

“I thought… We were gonna go eat… Weren’t we?”. Baekhyun’s voice trembled at times as he didn’t want to seem oppressive or desperate. He really wanted to spend time with Chanyeol even if it meant going against his brain and following his heart.  
  


Chanyeol felt a rush of warmth and excitement as he loudly exclaimed, “YEAH! This way,” before he glanced at Baekhyun’s hand that had parted from their previous clasp.

With an awkward burst of confidence, Chanyeol roughly grabbed Baekhyun’s hand before quickly walking towards that one place he had in mind that he knew would hurt but also bring so much comfort. Ah, the pain of breaking up separation. But remembering their memories at that place, the loving gazes, smiles, words, and actions, that made Chanyeol more determined to revive the old parts of themselves that were infatuated with one another that were born in that restaurant.

Unknowingly, Chanyeol had lightly squeezed Baekhyun’s hand that he held in his own, gaining Baekhyun’s attention, and bringing a soft smile to his face although he freaked out a bit internally. For now, it was okay. He wanted to focus on the now. With that, he lightly squeezed back. Their hands were warm.

𝄖 ❅ 𝄖

It was now five in the evening and the two men stood in front of a cozy, family style restaurant. Although it was just a regular restaurant that was just as good as many other restaurants that sold the same meals and probably had better quality meals, this restaurant held special emotional value to the men. Outside the door was a sign that said, " _Any couple that comes in holding hands can get a free side order of chicken._ "

Chanyeol and Baekhyun however didn't notice and simply walked into the restaurant. They noticed how the place looked the same as it did three years before and to their luck, their usual table was vacant so they rushed to it and sat down while waiting for service. They sat in silence for a few minutes, getting accustomed to the changes the place had gone through.

Chanyeol broke the silence. "So do you have any idea what to get Jongdae?". That reminded him of the original reason he was here and how he somehow managed to stumble across Chanyeol that day.

"I went to the Galleria today to see if there was anything I could get him there but I didn't see anything that screamed Jongdae there. I checked for three hours." Baekhyun didn't want to rant so he tried to say it as short and curt as possible, nodding slightly at the end. He watched Chanyeol, anticipating his reaction or response. Baekhyun's heart palpitated as he saw the fondness in Chanyeol's eyes directed towards him. He could feel his face heating up a bit from embarrassment, not as red as his hair though. He was bright enough for Chanyeol to chuckle, strongly holding back his desire to smother Baekhyun in his embrace for being so adorable.

Chanyeol leaned back in his seat, smiling fondly and reminiscently as he started, "Remember when we used to-". Sadly, he was interrupted by a waitress who came by to take their orders. Baekhyun sighed softly in relief as he knew what Chanyeol was about to bring up and he wasn't sure if he was ready to bring up the past when they weren't so happy now because of it.

The two ordered their meals, kimchi stew, shrimp dumplings, and tteokbokki. For drinks they went with just some Coca Cola for both. The waitress then told them their meals would be ready soon, and walked away. They were once again left in a still silence after what Chanyeol had started to say. In the back of the kitchen you could hear the pots and pans clinking together, the utensils clashing with the pans to whip up the meal, the chatter from the chefs. The smell of food cooking had wafted through the restaurant earlier but you could now smell their meals cooking along with others.

Not long later, the waitress came back with their cans of Coke and told them she’d be back soon with their food. Once again left in an uncomfortable silence, Baekhyun fidgets and messes with the lining of his shirt. He didn't know how to start the conversation and he was afraid to. He didn't want to get hurt again, so distancing himself is the right thing to do right? Baekhyun contemplated his decisions until Chanyeol finally spoke again.

"I was thinking that for Jongdae's gift, maybe we could get him a gag gift or something heartfelt, I don't know." Chanyeol had his hands clasped together on the table as he leaned forward to speak to Baekhyun, nodding at the end of his sentence. Baekhyun thought about that as that sounded like it could be the perfect present for Jongdae. That was something Baekhyun always admired about Chanyeol. His artistic ideas were always amazing whether it was music, painting, drawing, he was always so outstandingly creative.

Baekhyun looked down as he smiled softly before nodding and agreeing. "That sounds perfect." Chanyeol smiled lovingly at Baekhyun, admiring that small smile Baekhyun always wore when he was sweetly admiring something. Chanyeol couldn't help himself and blabbered, 

"Like you." Baekhyun's head shot up as he stared in awe at Chanyeol, heartbeat speeding up, mouth opening and closing slightly, left speechless. Chanyeol chuckled and before Baekhyun could even find something to say, the waitress had returned with their food.

She carefully laid the dishes on the table and said, "Enjoy your meal." Before she could leave, Baekhyun noticed something strange. He called out to her to ask,

"Excuse me! Um… I'm sorry, but we didn't order dakgangjeong?". Baekhyun stared up at her in confusion, hoping she didn't take his question negatively. The girl simply answered, 

"We have a special today that is on the board outside, where couples that come in holding hands get a free serving of dakgangjeong."

Baekhyun wanted to die from embarrassment and just squeaked a, "Thank you, sorry for the inconvenience" before groaning as he hid his face behind his hands. Chanyeol cooed at Baekhyun's flustered actions. Both were remembering how they'd walked in holding hands. One was embarrassed and the other was happy about it as he rested his cheek on his hand, enamoured with the cute man in front of him. This reminded Chanyeol of their first date here five years ago. It was a cool day in the fall.

_𝄖 𝄖_

Chanyeol had woken up that morning in a frenzy. He was barely able to sleep the night before because he was too excited. Today he was going on a date with Baekhyun. He’d fallen for Baekhyun simply walking by him in the hall that fateful day, but after a year of getting to know each other and becoming friends, Chanyeol finally asked Baekhyun out and he said yes. Now wasn’t the time to celebrate or get too hyper since he had to get ready for the big day ahead.

Tossing away the covers, Chanyeol hopped out of bed and went to brush his teeth. He still wasn’t sure what he’d wear as he wanted to wear the hottest outfit possible that would have Baekhyun swooning, never taking his eyes off of Chanyeol’s godly figure he’d worked hard to shape. He picked up his phone and called the friend from their group that he knew would be extremely helpful as he was the most stylish of them all. To Chanyeol’s luck, the friend picked up on the second ring.

A groggy, “Hello,” sounded from the phone.

“Nini! I need your help!”. Chanyeol felt a bit bad as he heard Jongin’s fatigue, but he had a feeling that it wasn’t from studying based on conversations with the group in the past week about his relationship with Kyungsoo. Yuck.

“What is it, Hyung?”

“What should I wear for my date with Baekhyun?!”

“Go with something casual but stylish, something that gives off a warm and cool, early fall vibe. Something pullover knitted sweater, undershirt, but tones that match each other. The bottoms can be jeans or shorts which would stand out from the top. The shoes could be anything but I’d say you want a more casual look so sneakers would probably be best. Is that all?”

“Yeah! You were a great help Nini, sorry for waking you up. Thanks!”

“Yeah. Just remember to tell us how it goes, Hyung. Bye. Good luck on your date. Fighting.”

Chanyeol hung up, leaving Jongin to go back to sleep and rushed to get ready, dressing himself in a long-sleeve, navy blue pullover, knitted sweater over a plaid, button up top, light blue jean knee shorts, and white sneakers. He didn’t take any jackets or coverings as it was only early October, so it wasn’t too cold yet, just the occasional chilly, fall wind. He then fixed up his curly, dyed blond hair to make sure it didn’t look messy, but rather cozy and soft along with his [ outfit ](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/S9YoFp5AMvFwwcKZ4JGyJ_bmxSc5rwCTGzUzm5XKaRPgmTKo9-JwmJIeZsMhFtEd24PPpuUX1jRLsoG8lZPAOVXcm695reb7Vepd7nvBNMumWKm9HKLp6ExGpE0T6Vb6iGHcCUY4).

After he was done, he grabbed his phone, wallet, and house keys, he headed out to the cafe where he’d meet with Baekhyun.

_𝄖 𝄖_

Sitting at the table in the restaurant, Chanyeol slightly fidgeted with his fingers and feet, tapping his fingers on the table and tapping his feet on the floor. Chanyeol slightly panicked which if the other guys had heard, they would’ve laughed because Chanyeol’s never nervous about dates, but it’s because it’s Baekhyun that it’s different. Baekhyun is more precious to him than any other person he’d been interested in so he didn’t want to mess up. He didn’t want to hurt him. You could say it might be love, but he’s not going to go that far yet even if he believes it is.

Chanyeol scrolled endlessly through his phone, trying to busy himself until the moment came. Luckily for him, he didn’t have to wait for long as just a few minutes after he’d been on his phone, the door to the restaurant opened and in walked [ Baekhyun ](https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/aD2Lc3fwTYLJUtVG4nKf0TiBUyv9CcTrRm65OVpWW5gJS9jfiwQ8XGpAb7HmwLa7E6XydTHOQOm4YAaWNQNvFwOlBkY8uZTJM_ZI142n).

When he saw Baekhyun, Chanyeol was left in shock. He always thought Baekhyun looked ethereal, but at this moment, he looked so angelic and pure that Chanyeol wanted to smother him in his embrace and shield Baekhyun from the world. Chanyeol felt like he was going to combust from the level of cuteness he was attacked with by being blessed with Baekhyun’s presence. He just wanted to grab him by the face and kiss him breathless, until the air they’d breath would be the air they pant out from their faces being so close after the kiss that they wouldn’t want to pull away from each other.

Sadly for Park Chanyeol, this daydream would end very quickly as real life Baekhyun snapped him out of his daze.

“CHANYEOLLIE!”

Chanyeol jumped in his seat and clambered his limbs around before calming down and setting them on the table once again. He answered in a stutter, “AH-Yes?”. He looked up at Baekhyun, eyes wide, shining with the permanent specks of light present in his eyes. Baekhyun simply sat in the chair opposite Chanyeol’s and laughed at Chanyeol’s nervous reactions. Chanyeol was once again entranced by Baekhyun’s sweet, boxy smile that transformed into wide mouthed laughter, wide, droopy eyes closing up into crescents as soft but loud laughter flowed from carat shaped, petal looking lips.

Chanyeol groaned and dropped his head on the table. Baekhyun was too beautiful for his own good. His self restraint was at its max. How could someone be so enchanting. Chanyeol came to the conclusion that there’s no way Baekhyun was human. Baekhyun sweetly called out to Chanyeol, confused as to why he was face planting on the table, finding that action cute of him though. Baekhyun thought Chanyeol looked like a big puppy as he tilted his head so his chin rested on the table edge and he looked up at Baekhyun with big shining eyes that looked at Baekhyun like he was Chanyeol’s whole universe.

The enamoured stare flustered Baekhyun a bit with its intensity and he softly asked, fiddling with his sweater paws, “Why are you looking at me like that?”. Chanyeol cooed at him and smiled lazily, causing Baekhyun’s heart to beat faster. Chanyeol simply said,

“You’re beautiful.”

Baekhyun whined and hid his face behind his hands, curling into a ball on the seat. He was not prepared for that. He started to whine at Chanyeol for saying something like that while Chanyeol’s smile widened and he pulled Baekhyun’s hand away from his face to hold it and intertwine their fingers. Neither of them would say it yet, but it felt like love.

𝄖 ❅ 𝄖

Finishing up their meal, it was now six thirty in the evening. After a mix of awkward silences and attempted conversations, the two had been able to have smooth conversations. It was just like the old days when they used to talk nonstop about the things they liked and did, and their ideas because they were so similar that it was like they were one person. Two halves of one whole.

That’s why, when they left the restaurant and walked down the street, they passed by some stores. Baekhyun had always been good at drawing and aesthetics, so as they passed by an art supply store, Baekhyun felt drawn to it and had a strong inkling telling him to enter the store. Seeing Baekhyun’s attention focused on the store, Chanyeol asked, “Do you wanna go inside?”. Baekhyun looked up at him and nodded. He felt like he would find what he was looking for in this store. So they entered.

Inside, the store had a cozy feel, birchwood walls helping the shelves stick out, cute stationary papers, pens, stickers, and tape lining the walls. You had Christmas wrapping paper in one corner, and the thing that Baekhyun saw Chanyeol immediately walk towards that he also had the same idea for, was a wall full of picture frames on the top shelves and scrapbooks on the bottom shelves.

Baekhyun was taken with the idea of designing two picture frames for Jongdae, one with him and their group, and him with Minseok. Baekhyun remembered the picture frames Chanyeol had made for him as part of a Christmas present when they’d first started dating. Chanyeol had been nervous to give them to him as he was afraid it was a cheap gift and that he could’ve done better, but Baekhyun loved it as it was something Chanyeol took the time and effort to make while putting his emotion and love into making it. To this day, Baekhyun still has those frames.

Baekhyun saw Chanyeol holding a scrapbook and felt a twinge in his heart as he knew why Chanyeol was looking at the scrapbook. He had to admit that scrapbook looked like it suited Jongdae, but he saw the pained smile on Chanyeol’s face and remembered how just like Chanyeol had gifted him the picture frames on their first couples Christmas, he had gifted Chanyeol a scrapbook full of images of them, quirkily decorated, showing off their goofiness and how much Baekhyun loved Chanyeol to put his emotions into such a heartwarming and thoughtful gift.

Standing on the sidelines and seeing Chanyeol in pain, Baekhyun wanted to rush over to him and hug him, hold his head to his chest and kiss the top of his head, whisper all his love and affection into Chanyeol’s pointed ears, reassuring him that he loved him and he’d never let him go, wouldn’t hurt his soft heart. But he couldn’t. That wasn’t his place. He was in no position to do that when they weren’t together, so he simply stood to the side, rigid, watching a few stray tears run down Chanyeol’s cheeks before Chanyeol wiped them away.

Baekhyun turned around and headed to the decorative accessories where the stickers, tape, and paper were at, grabbing some markers as well to match them with the frame. Once he’d collected the supplies he needed, Baekhyun headed to the cashier and paid for his things.

A few minutes after Baekhyun had paid, Chanyeol went up to the register and paid for his supplies. He walked over to Baekhyun and smiled as if he hadn’t just been crying a little while ago. Baekhyun saw the hesitance in Chanyeol’s eyes and he was now afraid as all night, Chanyeol’s been looking at him warmly, so something must have changed in his mind for him to be acting differently. Watching his back from behind, Baekhyun could only hope Chanyeol wasn’t completely done with him since as sad as it was, Baekhyun was finally building up the courage to try to get them back together.

Once Chanyeol had finished paying, he called Baekhyun over to leave the store. Walking on, they passed more stores, seeing happy people all around them, couples, families, people who seemingly looked forward heading to their destination, but they could feel the distance between them. They felt the biting cold that was their fractured relationship. They felt warmth being together, but they still lacked a clear conversation about their past as they skirted around it.

They passed another store where they saw stuffed animals and Baekhyun felt like the picture frames weren’t enough so he lightly tugged on Chanyeol’s sleeve and asked if they could enter the store. Chanyeol nodded and they entered the store.

Looking around, Baekhyun couldn’t find a stuffed animal that he thought suited Jongdae until his eye caught a green dinosaur plushie. Baekhyun snapped his head in Chanyeol’s direction, trying to ask for his opinion on whether it’d suit Jongdae, when he came face to face with a corgi plushie. His face morphed into one of surprise, eyes blinking wide and mouth slightly pouted with a little, “Ah,” escaping.

Eyes trailing past the toy and up the arm holding it, Baekhyun saw Chanyeol’s fond yet heartbroken stare. He felt another twinge of pain. Baekhyun grabbed the toy from Chanyeol and hugged it tight, but he flinched slightly when his hand touched Chanyeol’s. His eyes shot up again to see Chanyeol’s expression as he didn’t want him to misunderstand, but he wanted to cry as he saw Chanyeol look hurt and grimace for a split second before putting a grim smile back on his face.

Baekhyun quickly apologized, but he felt like time was running out and that their relationship could never be mended and they might never even be friends. He didn’t want to lose Chanyeol.

“Sorry!”

“It’s okay,” but Baekhyun knew it wasn’t okay. Trying to escape the suffocatingly depressed air they were now shrouded in, Baekhyun stammered out a,

“I’m just- gonna go pay for this- I’ll be back,” before scampering over to the register. Sadly, he missed Chanyeol’s last words.

“It’s really over now isn’t it?”. Chanyeol looked down at his hand, vividly remembering Baekhyun’s hesitance all day. Yeah he may have been getting ahead of himself, but could you really blame him? This was a man in love, not completely done mourning his first love. He knew Baekhyun so he knew Baekhyun didn’t mean to be flighty, but maybe he should just apologize for his wrongdoings in their relationship and be satisfied with that. At least he was able to take Baekhyun on a semi-date one last time, and maybe Baekhyun could find the love and happiness he deserved, even if it wasn’t with him.

𝄖 ❅ 𝄖

It was almost nine when the two left the last shop they were going to visit as they felt like they had enough stuff for Jongdae’s present. As they walked down the road together, heading to their respective abodes, both had heads full of thoughts on what to say and what to do. As they got closer to the first place they’d first met earlier that day, Chanyeol took that moment to speak.

“Baekhyun,” he called, pulling the other out of his thoughts, Baekhyun lifting his gaze to meet Chanyeol’s, dreading what would come out of his mouth based on the pain in his eyes. Those eyes should never look sad and it hurt to know it was because of him.

“I’m sorry.”

Baekhyun was confused but not at the same time. He understood what Chanyeol was about to say and began to plead with him not to say that. Chanyeol always took the blame, took the first step, while Baekhyun cowered from the fear of something going wrong since usually everything he did was a safe option. His relationship with Chanyeol was the one exception.

“Please, no. Don’t say that,” Baekhyun’s voice trembled, barely audible. Chanyeol simply shook his head and continued.

“I’m sorry for not trying harder to work things out between us. We were young and stupid, but that’s not an excuse. I never spoke about any issues I had in mind, I always kept it to myself, dreading it when I was alone when I should’ve spoken to you about any doubts, insecurities, or problems I thought we might’ve had. That just hurt us. We were a team. It was us against any issue we had, but I never let us be a team. I loved you, I still do, but that wasn’t enough. This apology is not enough to mend any issues, I’m well aware of that. And it’s worse because our… break up… happened at this time three years ago. But I just want you to know that I will always love you and support you. I want you to let go of me so you can be happy and find your true happiness even if it’s not with me. You were and always will be my first love. At some point I hoped you’d be my last, but sadly, that’s not us right now. I’m so sorry for hurting you, Baekhyun. I wish you all the best. Maybe I’ll see you at the party tomorrow, but for now, Merry Christmas. I love you.”

Chanyeol took a step forward, cradled Baekhyun’s head in his big, calloused palms, face being swallowed by his hands. He wiped away Baekhyun’s tears with his thumbs. Baekhyun hiccuped his sobs, slightly embarrassed as onlookers that passed by stared at them in curiosity. Baekhyun lightly held Chanyeol’s wrists, needing something to ground him, especially when Chanyeol moved a hand to lift up his bangs and place a feather light kiss on his forehead.

They stayed in that position for a moment before Chanyeol pulled away and smiled at Baekhyun, his own tears running down his face. Chanyeol held Baekhyun’s hands, running his own down from his wrists, to the tips of his fingers, and letting go so they fell back against Baekhyun’s sides. With that, Chanyeol turned around, and began walking away, heart heavy, yet light as he’d said part of what he’d been aching to say for years. It’d take some time, but maybe he and Baekhyun _could_ be friends someday.

Baekhyun on the other hand continued crying, brain working fast to think about what to do. Should he call him back? Should he run after him? But he said they were over right? But he didn’t want them to be over and neither did Chanyeol. Why was it so complicated? Why wasn’t their love enough?

Rationally, his brain was right. Chanyeol was right. They didn't work out well together. But there wasn't necessarily bad blood more than displaced attention and miscommunication because they focused more on their friends and jobs than their relationship and each other and when they did bring up that fact, they always argued about it or blamed each other and other things like jobs and family, instead of realizing the issue was themselves all along and they were afraid to own up to it.

Although all of that is true, that didn't stop Baekhyun from wanting Chanyeol no matter what. Yeah, they didn't give each other enough attention and didn't talk things out properly, but it's been years and they've changed. Who's to say they won't be better this time. They know what they've done wrong and now that they do, they know what they need to do in order to avoid a similar problem from happening again. Even though there are reasons for why they might not work, the reasons why they could work this time outweigh the reasons why they wouldn't.

With clear thoughts and a solid resolve, Baekhyun pivoted on his heel and began running in the direction he'd seen Chanyeol walk away in. It was slightly crowded from the amount of people excited over the holiday but that wouldn't stop him from going for his wants and dreams. It all starts with-

“Chanyeol!”. Baekhyun saw the coat on the man's back, his frame domineering over the surrounding people who spared a glance at his disturbance.

Baekhyun cursed Chanyeol's long legs for allowing him to walk so fast even though Baekhyun was running. He needed to get him to stop so he called him again, louder this time, getting closer to him.

"PARK CHANYEOL!"

At this loud call, Chanyeol finally stopped and turned around, becoming a wall for Baekhyun who tried to slow himself down yet had trouble doing so, so his head butted into Chanyeol's chest slightly. Out of breath, Baekhyun leaned further into Chanyeol's chest and clutched the front of Chanyeol’s coat in his fists. Chanyeol silently stood as he held Baekhyun in his arms. He was afraid to speak as he didn't want to scare Baekhyun off. Obviously there was a reason why Baekhyun chased after him and was now being affectionate towards him.

Baekhyun looked up at him teary eyed, and yelled, “YOU TALL, BIG EARED IDIOT! HOW COULD YOU QUESTION IF OUR LOVE WAS ENOUGH?! IT WAS! WE WERE JUST STUPID AND TOO AFRAID AND CONFUSED SINCE WE HAD JUST GRADUATED! WE DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO BE ADULTS SO WE ACTED LIKE TEENAGERS WHEN WE NEEDED TO BE MORE MATURE!”. Running out of energy to scream especially since his throat was hurting, he said in a calmer yet stern tone,

“You’re right! Sometimes love isn’t enough! Yeah, we didn’t talk about how we felt or manage our time right, and that was the problem! We needed to rely on each other! But who says we can’t do that now? Yeah, some people might disagree and think our relationship is too unstable, but we can always build it back up from scratch as long as we don’t lose sight of our love and each other. And I’m sorry. I should’ve said this first, but I also didn’t tell you when I was having problems too and that was my fault too. You can’t blame yourself only when we equally hurt each other and I didn’t want to hurt you just like you didn’t want to hurt me, but it happened. But I want to try again! We need to talk our issues out, not hide them. We need to spend more time together, fix a schedule where we have more time for each other. It can be complicated, but only if you make it that way. I. Love. You. That’s all I know and that’s all I need.”

Baekhyun’s confidence wavered the whole time he spoke, breathless from running and his rant. He felt like he could faint, but he pushed out a final question that would make or break them, “This is… a lot… but… can we try… again?”.

Chanyeol pulled him into a tight embrace. Baekhyun was embarrassed as yet again he felt tears run down his face. Chanyeol was the crybaby out of the two and yet why did it seem as though Baekhyun was more sensitive about this? Baekhyun slowly calmed down and held Chanyeol lightly, barely having any strength left. He accepted his thoughts as embarrassing as a part of him thought they were. He didn’t want to let go. Not again. Never again if he had anything to say about it. Apparently Chanyeol thought the same as he spoke Baekhyun’s thoughts aloud, “We can try again. Just never let go, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun buried his face in Chanyeol’s shoulder and closed his eyes in peace. Yet again they had caused a scene, people pointing and staring, some had stopped to record them, but they didn’t care. They had each other again and that was all that mattered. It would take time for them to build back a steady and healthy relationship that hopefully wouldn’t end this time, but they had a good feeling that they didn’t have to worry about that as much.

Pulling apart, but not completely, Baekhyun held Chanyeol’s hand and intertwined their fingers. He leaned up and pecked Chanyeol’s cheek causing him to smile, showing his dimple, and making his ears move. Baekhyun grinned brightly in return, his boxy smile lighting up Chanyeol’s world. Chanyeol then led Baekhyun to his apartment so they could further reconcile and make Jongdae’s presents in the next few hours, before they had to go to the party the next day.

𝄖 ❅ 𝄖

The morning sunlight filtered into the room, waking Chanyeol up. Although he cracked his eyes open and saw the light, he didn’t feel the normal energy he would’ve had seeing it years ago. Three to be exact.

Three years ago he would’ve been on his side, cuddling the warm body that slept on the right side of the bed that would be bundled up in a blanket while he would’ve been in boxers only since the room was always hot thanks to the small puppy faced mochi sleeping in a bundle next to him. They never agreed on a room temperature but Chanyeol would gladly sacrifice a cool room for his lover to be happy.

And as it would have been three years ago, Chanyeol woke up to that today.

He looked down to see a mop of bright red popping out of the comforter on the right side of the bed, and lazily grinned, tears pricking his eyes. He shifted his body to wrap his little bundle in a warm embrace, and closed his eyes, warm tears streaming down his face as he basked in the feeling he’d missed for three years. Chanyeol tightened his hug when he felt the shifting that would mean that his angel was starting to wake up.

To his slight shock, Baekhyun immediately turned over and buried his face in Chanyeol’s chest, wrapping his arms around him so tightly that he could barely breathe. He was about to ask Baekhyun what was wrong when he felt his shirt getting a bit damp and he held Baekhyun’s head closer and kissed the top of his head. He completely understood the feeling and he wouldn’t mind having a crying cuddle session every morning as long as he got to wake up next to Baekhyun and hold him in his arms.

After some time, Chanyeol whispered a soft, warm, “Good morning,” to Baekhyun and Baekhyun repeated it back, voice still nasally from the build up of snot while he’d cried. Chanyeol groaned and sat up, getting out of bed and ripped the covers off Baekhyun who whined due to the cold.

“Up, Baekhyun! We have to have breakfast, it’s eleven o’clock. We have to eat now so we can spend time together before heading to the party!”. Baekhyun sighed and got up, hair a fluffy mess, rubbing his eye and yawning, a true representation of a puppy.

Baekhyun walked over to Chanyeol who was by the door and said, “I want eggs and bacon,” before stretching and heading to the bathroom. Chanyeol on the other hand was cooing at how his clothes swallowed Baekhyun’s figure, and the cuteness that was his lover. He couldn’t wait for the future. All he needed was three more years he decided as he walked to the kitchen to make them breakfast.

𝄖 ❅ 𝄖

From outside the door, you could hear Jongdae’s yells and singing, chaos and commotion resounding from inside the apartment. You could smell Kyungsoo and Minseok’s cooking, imagine Junmyeon chasing down Sehun and Jongin who were being rowdy, Yixing sleeping peacefully on the couch, but this time probably with the new boyfriend he’d mentioned, a deer-faced man he’d met when on a business trip in China who surprisingly was a childhood friend of his.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol looked at the wooden door and Baekhyun asked, “Are we doing this,” looking up at Chanyeol with a bit of uncertainty, squeezing Chanyeol’s hand that he’d held, seeking reassurance. Chanyeol chuckled and grinned before saying,

“How bad could it be,” before ringing the doorbell. Within seconds, Jongdae opens the door and sees Baekhyun, immediately yelling,

“HEY, BAEKHYUN,” throwing himself on Baekhyun, smothering him in a hug. Something felt off and Jongdae noticed the arm that Baekhyun had his own attached to, trailing his eyes along it, eventually looking up and yelling once again.

“WHAT?! GUYS COME OVER HERE YOU WON’T BELIEVE THIS!”

Sehun and Jongin were happy to join the chaos, running over and checking out the commotion and also yelling.

“HOLY FUCK!”

“WHAT IS THIS?! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!”

Hearing Sehun and Jongin’s reactions, the others came to the door and saw what was going on and they too were left in shock. Curious about the events that led up to this predicament, Jongdae pulled the couple in and told them they had a lot of explaining to do.

While taking off their shoes in the entrance, Baekhyun and Chanyeol heard giggles, chuckles, muffled laughter, and a loud yell /Jongdae obviously/. They looked at the guys to see what all the excitement was about when they noticed them looking up, causing them to look up too, just to see a small green and red weed hanging on the ceiling. They went bug eyed, knowing the implication, but highly not sure they should do anything since they just started reconciling.

Baekhyun immediately got flustered and annoyed and started whining at the guys, causing Chanyeol to watch him, enamoured. Chanyeol decided he didn’t care, this man was too cute to not be kissed, as he turned him around and cupped his face, not giving him time to process as he lightly, but steadily kissed him, a simple, sweet peck on the lips that Baekhyun returned. In the background you could hear cheers, laughs, and clapping.

It might’ve been a bit too early to say this, but this was love.

𝄖 ❅ 𝄖

> **“** _I didn’t know how thankful your love was_
> 
> _I thought it would stop once it ended_
> 
> _But every day_
> 
> _I’m fixing myself to want you_
> 
> _I think my love will endlessly continue_
> 
> _I stop time (Oh now I will)_
> 
> _And go back to you (Go back to you)_
> 
> _I open your page (Again today)_
> 
> _In my book of memories_
> 
> _I am there inside_ **”**
> 
> **-** _Miracles In December, EXO_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you got to this point, you read this monster. Thank you for reading it. I spent a good month writing it because I had no idea what to write at times /writer's block is a bitch/ and I missed my original deadline 😩 /disappointed but not surprised 😏/.
> 
> Also I've realized my first fic so far was mostly narration and not dialogue so I added more 🥴, but it's mostly them simping over each other/being awkward/crying 🤔 so yeah idk 🤷 plus there is a lot of written thoughts but from both characters so yeah. Anyway, again, thanks for reading these rants if you did and if you enjoyed it, thanks! Stay safe and healthy!🤗✌👋

**Author's Note:**

> If you got to this point, you read this monster. Thank you for reading it. I spent a good month writing it because I had no idea what to write at times /writer's block is a bitch/ and I missed my original deadline 😩 /disappointed but not surprised 😏/.
> 
> Also I've realized my first fic so far was mostly narration and not dialogue so I added more 🥴, but it's mostly them simping over each other/being awkward/crying 🤔 so yeah idk 🤷 plus there is a lot of written thoughts but from both characters so yeah. Anyway, again, thanks for reading these rants if you did and I hope you enjoyed it! Stay safe and healthy!🤗✌👋


End file.
